A couple of weeks ago I turned 30 years old. Initially, the thought of being in my third decade was incredibly daunting; I was ignoring the fact that it was happening, avoiding making plans and just the overall fear and dread of hitting the big 3-0 loomed over me as the date approached. But now I’m a couple of weeks in, it doesn’t feel so bad, I have almost found a new confidence turning 30. So, I thought I would write a post listing all the stuff I stressed about that I am no longer losing any sleep over.

Looking and feeling ‘old’

This first one may seem so stupid, but I’m sure it’s something people get a lot when they turned 30. I was starting to feel like my face looked dull, and that I definitely looked my age (which in my head was old!). I felt like none of my clothes would suit me anymore, people would make comments about not dressing my age and I would have to transition in to more sensible, frumpy attire. This wasn’t the case at all; I didn’t wake up on 10th July 2023 all of a sudden being an old woman. It didn’t feel any different to being 29, or actually not even 28. I got up and went about my day as per normal and it wasn’t as scary as I thought. There were no looming thoughts of aging, my body clock ticking…any of this! The past few weeks I’ve actually being getting dolled up more, wearing heels more, and feeling overall more confident in myself.

I feel that, women especially, put a lot of pressure on ourselves to look and behave a certain way in accordance to our age. We shouldn’t waste so much of our energy thinking about it. We should feel empowered wearing, looking and acting how we want! Age really is just a number after all.

Not being ‘where I want in life’

I think this leads on from the previous point. For some reason 30 seems to be a huge milestone whereby I measured my life accomplishments. Anything not checked off the list by 30 seemed like a life failure to me and what followed by a wave of disappointment. In my head, I was approaching 30 not a homeowner, unhappy with my current job and feeling like my friends around me had achieved so much more. Whilst some of those things may be true, as I’m very lucky to have strong and successful friends, the rest wasn’t to be taken so seriously; I’m not a homeowner, not because of my own doing, but because of my circumstances being a foreigner in Singapore, it’s not that much of a big deal. And yes, I was unhappy at work, so I decided to make a change; a wealth management firm had offered me a prestigious role, which I decided to accept! I already feel so much better entering my 30s in a role that seems more dynamic, more professional and makes me happier.

My advice would be, to not let the little things get to you…but if there’s something big getting to you- change it! There’s no point sitting around miserable when you can actually make a change about these things.

Having to slow down

There seems to be this stereotype that women in their 30s need to slow down, not go out so much, not socialise so much, not focus all their energy on work and focus more on home life. I will not be doing that. If anything, being constantly busy with work gives me the adrenaline I need to keep me going throughout the week, it motivates me to strive to be better.

Priorities

Following on from that, I will be shifting slight priorities into my 30s. I will be focusing more on my close friendships, instead of trying to be mates with everyone. I will not be going out late into the night as much, as I will be waking up earlier and meeting more of my clients during the day. I will be spending the occasional weekday night at home, to meal prep and spend time with my husband, to ensure that the rest of the week goes smoothly. I will be enjoying my weekends doing what I want. And most importantly, I will not be worrying about what other people think.

Turning 30 doesn’t have to mark the beginning of the end, for me, it marks the beginning of a new chapter- new job, new apartment, new beginnings and opportunities! If I’ve learnt anything, it’s to not let external pressures get to me- I was too wrapped up in what I thought other people would think, or how I thought turning 30 is supposed to be, that I forgot how to enjoy myself and be grateful for all the things I have achieved and accomplished. Watch this space for more great things to come!