Tag Archives: reflection

2023 Reflection

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Whilst I am a big advocate for looking forward, I have learnt over the past year that reflection is just as important. So, I thought that it would be beneficial to look back over the past year and think about all the challenges and accomplishments I have experienced.

Personal Challenges

I’m not going to dwell too much on this topic but I feel that it’s important to highlight because I have not had a perfect year- whilst my professional life has been a success story, I have had my own crosses to bear in my personal life. I recently lost someone very close to me, only a few weeks before Christmas, and this has made me remember even more that family is most important and we should cherish these moments that we have.

Many people have commented that I seem fine on social media and that I’m still going to work, so I must be ok, but this is truly not the case. Grief hits people differently, and I’m choosing to try to continue with the day to day.

Business Challenges

Of course, like the market, work life also has its ups and downs. Not only have we all struggled with the cost of living and the markets not recovering like we had hoped, but here in Singapore the job market has become extremely volatile. I’ve had lots of clients, and indeed friends, leave Singapore due to losing their jobs or finding better opportunities elsewhere. Luckily, I am still in contact with many and some have even returned to Singapore, but it just shows that nothing is certain, not even our jobs, which is why it is so important to plan, have emergency savings etc.

On top of this, as many may know, during the first half of the year I was feeling quite deflated about my work situation; I felt that I was frequently made to choose between work and my personal time, and I felt that I was neglecting other parts of me. If you have read my reflection post when I turned 30, I think you will understand a bit more. I was starting to feel like there was a glass ceiling too; the holistic planning I was providing for my clients had gaps in, as I could only provide certain solutions. This made me feel like there must be something more, something better, so that I can be offering my clients the best service possible.

Business Successes

This actually led me onto many business successes. I truly believe that if there’s something wrong in your life that you can make an effort to change, you should do so. So that’s what I did. When I turned 30 I changed my mindset, sorted out my work-life balance, upgraded my skills and even changed jobs. Now I can provide my clients with even more support and advice that before, with solutions that are more suited to the expat transience we so frequently see in Singapore. Not only that, the level of support and resources that I am receiving now means that I can have a wider reach; I’ve recently had amazing opportunities such as speaking at conferences, hosting my own launch event, attending investment insight conferences and as of next year I will hopefully be joining an advisory board (more news to come)!

Of course I need to thank of all those that entrusted me with these opportunities to speak and share my knowledge, but this has also proven to myself that I can do it- that lul in the middle of the year was only temporary, and I am very excited for the upward trajectory I appear to be on for 2024. I’ve managed to empower and inspire others through my articles, videos and podcasts, and I can feel like I’m really making a difference.

Personal Successes

I feel like this positivity and new lease of life when changing jobs has created a domino effect, where things in my personal life have also been going well. I’m a lot happier and less stressed, which means that I am able to nurture and spend time working on my relationships. My friendships have grown stronger this year, I have travelled for some beautiful weddings, and I’m very blessed that my friends shared their special days with me, and I will be travelling home for Christmas to spend some quality time with my family.

Whilst this year has been far from perfect, I’m very lucky to have the life I have- I have wonderful friends, family and husband, my career is on the up, and whilst there has been a lot of sadness too, I’m ready to grieve and put the effort into healing.

I hope you took something away from this and it wasn’t just a self-indulgent exercise; I encourage everyone to reflect during this time of year and look forward to the year ahead!

What I Realised When I Turned 30

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A couple of weeks ago I turned 30 years old. Initially, the thought of being in my third decade was incredibly daunting; I was ignoring the fact that it was happening, avoiding making plans and just the overall fear and dread of hitting the big 3-0 loomed over me as the date approached. But now I’m a couple of weeks in, it doesn’t feel so bad, I have almost found a new confidence turning 30. So, I thought I would write a post listing all the stuff I stressed about that I am no longer losing any sleep over.

Looking and feeling ‘old’

This first one may seem so stupid, but I’m sure it’s something people get a lot when they turned 30. I was starting to feel like my face looked dull, and that I definitely looked my age (which in my head was old!). I felt like none of my clothes would suit me anymore, people would make comments about not dressing my age and I would have to transition in to more sensible, frumpy attire. This wasn’t the case at all; I didn’t wake up on 10th July 2023 all of a sudden being an old woman. It didn’t feel any different to being 29, or actually not even 28. I got up and went about my day as per normal and it wasn’t as scary as I thought. There were no looming thoughts of aging, my body clock ticking…any of this! The past few weeks I’ve actually being getting dolled up more, wearing heels more, and feeling overall more confident in myself.

I feel that, women especially, put a lot of pressure on ourselves to look and behave a certain way in accordance to our age. We shouldn’t waste so much of our energy thinking about it. We should feel empowered wearing, looking and acting how we want! Age really is just a number after all.

Not being ‘where I want in life’

I think this leads on from the previous point. For some reason 30 seems to be a huge milestone whereby I measured my life accomplishments. Anything not checked off the list by 30 seemed like a life failure to me and what followed by a wave of disappointment. In my head, I was approaching 30 not a homeowner, unhappy with my current job and feeling like my friends around me had achieved so much more. Whilst some of those things may be true, as I’m very lucky to have strong and successful friends, the rest wasn’t to be taken so seriously; I’m not a homeowner, not because of my own doing, but because of my circumstances being a foreigner in Singapore, it’s not that much of a big deal. And yes, I was unhappy at work, so I decided to make a change; a wealth management firm had offered me a prestigious role, which I decided to accept! I already feel so much better entering my 30s in a role that seems more dynamic, more professional and makes me happier.

My advice would be, to not let the little things get to you…but if there’s something big getting to you- change it! There’s no point sitting around miserable when you can actually make a change about these things.

Having to slow down

There seems to be this stereotype that women in their 30s need to slow down, not go out so much, not socialise so much, not focus all their energy on work and focus more on home life. I will not be doing that. If anything, being constantly busy with work gives me the adrenaline I need to keep me going throughout the week, it motivates me to strive to be better.

Priorities

Following on from that, I will be shifting slight priorities into my 30s. I will be focusing more on my close friendships, instead of trying to be mates with everyone. I will not be going out late into the night as much, as I will be waking up earlier and meeting more of my clients during the day. I will be spending the occasional weekday night at home, to meal prep and spend time with my husband, to ensure that the rest of the week goes smoothly. I will be enjoying my weekends doing what I want. And most importantly, I will not be worrying about what other people think.

Turning 30 doesn’t have to mark the beginning of the end, for me, it marks the beginning of a new chapter- new job, new apartment, new beginnings and opportunities! If I’ve learnt anything, it’s to not let external pressures get to me- I was too wrapped up in what I thought other people would think, or how I thought turning 30 is supposed to be, that I forgot how to enjoy myself and be grateful for all the things I have achieved and accomplished. Watch this space for more great things to come!